28th February -v- 14th February

63 years ago -v- 1515 years ago

Happened in Accra -v- Happened? in Rome

Celebrating the beginning of a revolution -v- Celebrating er… love?

Revolution brought forth our independence -v- Er…er…ummm

One accurate account of events -v- Many inaccurate account of events

No mention of today until... today (on page 3) -v- 14^th February fever launches as soon as Christmas is over

I wish the Ghanaian media would make more of a fuss about our veterans and how they (servicemen) fought (and still fight for us) than they do about er… umm... 14^th February. 

Happy Veterans Day.

KIA SOUL

I’m in love with the KIA SOUL

The edginess

The unpredictability

The almost rugged sexiness of it!

Love it!

2010 Promises

I've been promised the whole world for 2010
No, I've been promised small steps towards the whole world
I'm smiling at 2010
Hmmm, bliss!

Plain English

I gave you all

You wanted none

I gave you none

You want all

Please do tell me in plain English,

What do you want?

Wife Swap

So they exchange homes for two weeks

Husbands and offspring

Duties and needs

Perchance they exchange their lives

Dinners and chores

Work and pets

But what if the sparks fly

And the ‘sleeping arrangements’ are muddled?

Tough Love

When my sister was in nursery school, she used to come home with scratches on her arms from where a bully in her class had scratched her. Once she complained to our Mama. Mama got mad.

She asked, “Is X in your class?”

Sis replied, “Yes”

“Is he bigger than you?

“No”

She asked her, “So why didn’t you scratch him back? Next time you go to school and X scratches you again, and you don’t scratch him back with all you’ve got, I will punish you!”

My sister was petrified. Next day rolls around. Lo and behold, X scratches her. She was scared. Scared of X and scared that if she didn’t scratch back Mama would spank her. She hesitated. Which did she fear more, Mama or X? No brainer.

With that she pounced on X scratched his face, his arms, his legs. He wasn’t stronger after all! He ran away crying and never scratched her again. Mama gave her a treat when she came back home!

I recently asked her about it and she said it was because she can’t fight all her children’s battles for them. It was a valuable lesson to teach them to fight back. Maybe one day I will see her point of view. Or maybe not.

Of unending complaints and so on…

I’ve had enough

You say I’m rough

I’ve had my fill

Of your bitter pill

I give my best

To you, it’s a jest

I give my all

You ask if that’s all

So today I wake up

This hour I wise up

I’m leaving you

‘Cause I can’t please you

Pardon me?

Excuse me?

Did I hear, “Please stay”?

Oh, do tell, I pray

If you see only flaws

If I have only faults

Why should I stick around?

Why should I come around?

Lust

Lust

Wanton, Hungry

Yearning, Longing, Desiring

Lust is powerful

Covetousness

I love you

Why wait to write a eulogy

When you can say in person

“I love you”

Why wait to etch on a tombstone

When you can make a call to say

“I love you”

Why wait to say in tears

When you can say in laughter

“I love you”

- - - ~ To Ebow, for not waiting.

5 almost flimsy and petty things that might make me say goodbye to a man

We all know the attributes of a good man; responsible, industrious, street savvy, thrifty, caring etc. But sometimes when women are deciding whether or not to look at a long term relationship with a man or whether or not to kick a man out, certain petty issues are considered along with the important ones named above. My friend Esi Cleland made a podcast recently about top 10 things to look out for in a man and that dealt with the big ‘uns mentioned above! This post deals with the little ’uns. Below are just five of what would be on my (long-ish) list.

1. Books: If a man has no idea, I mean no idea about books that I think every normal human being should have read, well its bye-bye time. For example during a conversation, I ask if he’s read Dilemma of a Ghost, he answers no. Another day, I ask about Pride and Prejudice, no. Okay… To kill a mocking bird, no. Things fall apart, no. (Red flag) Great Expectations, no. Native Son, no. Animal farm, no. Okay I think he should redeem himself right now and tell me what he’s read or what he likes to read, if not, he’s out.
2. Table manners: Nothing puts me off more than a man without table manners. He chews with his mouth open, talks with food in his mouth (Eew, I don’t wanna see your bolus), shoves food down his throat, uses cutlery wrongly, and chews loudly (when he’s not eating carrots… er, can you chew a little louder they cannot quite hear you in Bolivia!). ’Nuff said. Bye-bye.
3. Sense of humor: I like to laugh. So if I’m with a man who can’t laugh at himself and the whole world… well, I’d say goodbye. I don’t think people should take life so seriously. We are here but for a few years. No matter how responsible you are, sometimes laughter is the only way to deal with issues. I generally find men who are humorless incessantly boring.
4. Bathroom habits: All women hate men leaving the toilet seat up and every well brought up man was taught by his Mama to put the seat down. I’d tolerate the occasional forgetfulness but constantly is a no-no. Leaving ‘skid marks’ in the bowl? Once is enough, forget it. Oh, whilst we are in the bathroom, let me add, I don’t see any reason why the toothpaste should be squeezed from the middle of the tube. There is no reason for a grown man to do that. A seven year old can get away with it but not a grown man.(I won’t leave for that alone though)
5. LAFA & Grammar: Of late I see on my feedjit that I have readers from a lot of countries so let me break LAFA down for the non-Ghanaians; it stands for Locally Acquired Foreign Accent. A number of people try to affect the accent of Americans and British, even though they have never lived there, so that they sound ‘cool’ or impressive. For me it is a super duper turn off. No matter how great you are in every other department, it is a put off for me. Period. It reeks of an identity crisis. Saying that, I really appreciate men with a mastery over the English language, as well as their own native tongue. It’s a turn off if a man can’t string a single sentence of English together without taking me back to my class four teacher-Mrs Coker.

PS. I am not an uptight bitch. (Hehehe.)

The Pendant: Part II

(The parting)

Alas, in the heat of their passion one afternoon

As they struggled out of their garments

The chain that held us broke and I bounced off

She couldn’t stop to search for me, could she?

Not until the red hot lava had cooled

But I was under this heavy mahogany wardrobe

Among the fluff of dust and cobwebs

Oh dear, she’s leaving without me

(The wistful end)

I heard him whisper he would get her another

A shiny new piece all dolled up and fancy

But she wears him with pride, oh how could she?

I thought our love was timeless and endless

Life was so good when it was just she and I

Oh, why did she have to bring him into our lives?

It wouldn’t be so bad if I was lost in her room

But, every night I have to lay here and listen to him snore

The Pendant: Part I

(The meeting)

It was love at first sight between us two

I caught her eye as she passed by the shop

She immediately came in and asked to see me

And picked me up with the most delicate fingers

As I lay in her soft smooth palm

I could only imagine how good it would feel

To lie close to her heart and feel its rhythm

To lie between the soft mounds of flesh on her chest

(The affair)

So began our affair of five years

She called me her lucky charm, her love

She daintily fingered me when she was deep in thought

I was never far away from her heart

We loved each other endlessly

But, oh, fate played its nasty cards

I was to be betrayed, I was to be replaced

She and I became she, him and I

Cyber love

I fell in love with your wit

You made me laugh

I fell in love with your voice

Deep and throaty

I fell in love with your mind

A beautiful maze

We had a connection

Or so I thought

Then I met you

Not what I want

You

I woke up this morning yearning for you

I started my day feeling blue

I thought it’d pass, I thought I’d be fine

Like a fool, I toed the line

Through the day it grew worse

It almost made me smile-averse

The day ended, how, I have no clue

I’m going to bed tonight yearning for you

Forget me not

How many times

Have you forgotten

A name

Your keys

Your to-do list

A birthday

And then kicked yourself

Exasperated

Because you forgot

Well, think of it

If you never forgot

Always remembered

Always vivid

Everything you did

All the pain

All the anger

All the vicious words

Others have said

Raw emotions

Flowing tears?

Forgetfulness, a blessing

On this earth.

Learning on the job

Why is there no manual?

No set of instructions

To this life we lead

This love we share

So many mistakes, saved

So much heartache spared

TVs and Microwaves have ‘em

Even tables and lights fixtures

So why not something as large as life

Or as beautiful as love?

Friends

There are 4 categories of friends people have. (According to me)

Girl friends/Boy friends- Depending on whether you are a guy or girl, you have these. Well sometimes, they are of the opposite sex. They are the friends you have had since you were in nappies. They know everything about you, and yet they still love you. You know their Grandparents and they know yours. They are the first person anyone will call if they couldn’t find you. The closest thing you have to a best friend.

Perpetual Crush- This is the guy/girl that you have never dated but you have a crush on. You probably never dated that person because, you both had partners or your best friend fancied him/her before you did or there is something simply not right about him/her. Even though you fancy this guy/girl you somehow know that you would never date them because if you did, it would never work.

The man/woman- This is the love of your life. You may marry him/her or you may not. But you know that you will always love that person no matter what the person does. If you are fortunate enough to be dating or married to that man/woman, then life’s heaven. (Awww)

The Haters- You tolerate them. You know they hate your guts and/or you hate theirs but for some unspoken reason, you pretend to like each other. (The smiling makes my face hurt) The reason for the hatred is diverse. It could be because they were smarter than you in elementary school, or that you are richer than them, or worse they have the body you have always wanted. Sometimes you don’t like them simply because they talk too much or try to copy everything you do.

Did I miss any?