My friends have interesting thoughts about marriage!

* Chris says Mendelsohn’s Wedding March is every girl’s ‘victory song’.

* Ellis says marriage is like law school, everyone who gets in complains that it’s hard. Yet every year hundreds of people struggle to gain admission.

* Ekua says marriage should be a contract renewable every 7 years.

* Nii wonders how two people who once loved each other could write such spiteful things in divorce petitions.

* Amma says (talking of marriage) the grass is not greener on the other side, so stick on this/your side and water it till its green too.

* All these comments were made in different scenarios, at different times and mostly unprovoked! J With whom do you agree?

Multitasking

My boss and I were in a little debate about who can multitask better. Of course, I went for the woman, he went for the man and proceeded to say, the pinnacle of multitasking is when a man is able to:

&     1. Drive

&     2. Carry on a conversation with the wife

&     3. Check out the hot girl on the street

&     4. Not get caught (by the wife)

&     5. Not crash the car

Needless to say, he beat me hands down.

Tailgater Terror

Why do you follow me so closely?

Do you want to smell my nether regions?

Or maybe even kiss it?

Why do you shine your big glaring lights so brightly?

Do you want me to blind you with my mirrors?

Or maybe even cause you a seizure?

Get the hell away from my bumper, you idiot!

Ghana’s ‘concrete jungle’

5:45am. Still dark and foggy. But I’m at the steer sipping on a cupa and feeling damned sleepy. A very long day lies awaiting. Not that it’s different from any other. I just feel like I should have been born in a little remote village where I didn’t have to be driving around in the wee hours of the morning. I ask myself if all the money in the world is worth the chase… No answer. Not that I was expecting any. Light turns red, I stop. I look to my left, a yawning man in his car. I look to my right, there is a trotro* full of still passengers. The driver yawns, I look at the passengers closely. They are all fast asleep. Every. Single One. Of. Them. Even the early morning hawkers look groggy and disheveled. Is this the dream life they bargained for when they left their towns and villages? Will they make it? Is this really a city where there’s nothing you can’t do? Er…

This concrete jungle post is inspired by Alicia Keyes’ new song (or new version) – Empire State of Mind, which I am sooooooo loving!
Trotro*- mini bus for public transport.

The curious case of Mental Health in Ghana

She cooks them their dinner

They munch with delight

They don’t know it’s their last

For it is laced with poison

After they cross to the other side

She lines up the 5 limp bodies

According to age

Then calls Daddy to come for his clan

She’s clearly cuckoo

Yet in analyzing the situation

The ‘News Team’ calls a cleric!

So, where are the Ghanaian psychiatrists?

2010 Promises

I've been promised the whole world for 2010
No, I've been promised small steps towards the whole world
I'm smiling at 2010
Hmmm, bliss!

Of unending complaints and so on…

I’ve had enough

You say I’m rough

I’ve had my fill

Of your bitter pill

I give my best

To you, it’s a jest

I give my all

You ask if that’s all

So today I wake up

This hour I wise up

I’m leaving you

‘Cause I can’t please you

Pardon me?

Excuse me?

Did I hear, “Please stay”?

Oh, do tell, I pray

If you see only flaws

If I have only faults

Why should I stick around?

Why should I come around?

Lust

Lust

Wanton, Hungry

Yearning, Longing, Desiring

Lust is powerful

Covetousness

Disney Controversy?

This weekend I chanced upon a certain controversy that had been brewing over the last two years that I was totally unaware of. Disney was making a darker skinned girl their princess in their upcoming animation- The princess and the frog. She’s from New Orleans and is to be called Princess Tiana. It’s a beautiful idea if you ask me, as it will give the self image of little black girls a boost. God knows we’ve waited for this long enough. I was even one of those little girls who had to imagine myself ‘white’ before a knight in shining amour could come to my rescue, whisk me away and live happily ever after.

Okay, back to the point. Originally Princess Tiana was to have been called Princess Maddy, but pressure groups didn’t like the name because it was to plain. Really? What did they want LaShauna, Shaquinta, Levondia? Then we come the princess’ role, she was to have been a chamber maid, fall in love with the frog, kiss him, frog turns into a prince, they marry she becomes a princess and they live happily ever after. Nice? No, according to the pressure group, well, depicting a black girl as a chamber maid is so stereotypical. So with that, they made Princess Tiana a real princess from New Orleans. Do we have royalty in New Orleans? Don’t Americans abhor royalty? I thought Cinderella was a cinder maid. What about giving people the hope that they can become ‘something’ someday?

Aren’t we taking all this to a whole different level? Is there a fine line between affirmative action and ridiculous? Please educate me because I think it’s a little ridiculous.

Black and white are also colours of the rainbow!

The last meeting

Was a teary parting two decades ago

The joys leaving school called

The promises of tomorrow beckoned

Each went to their own

To make bread with the grain given

Today she bumps into her in town

Her life seems like a rainbow

Complete with that pot of gold

A thriving business for her work

A wealthy hunk for her husband

A life in HD

She, not so much, she muses

She hasn’t had much colour

Single mother, runaway dad

Struggling to make ends meet

It seems she’s been given a raw deal

A life in black and white

They are pretend they’re happy to see each other

They secretly eye each other enviously

Each wants what the other has

A son for one, a husband for the other

Oh, but they have a lot more in common

They both cry themselves each night to sleep

5 almost flimsy and petty things that might make me say goodbye to a man

We all know the attributes of a good man; responsible, industrious, street savvy, thrifty, caring etc. But sometimes when women are deciding whether or not to look at a long term relationship with a man or whether or not to kick a man out, certain petty issues are considered along with the important ones named above. My friend Esi Cleland made a podcast recently about top 10 things to look out for in a man and that dealt with the big ‘uns mentioned above! This post deals with the little ’uns. Below are just five of what would be on my (long-ish) list.

1. Books: If a man has no idea, I mean no idea about books that I think every normal human being should have read, well its bye-bye time. For example during a conversation, I ask if he’s read Dilemma of a Ghost, he answers no. Another day, I ask about Pride and Prejudice, no. Okay… To kill a mocking bird, no. Things fall apart, no. (Red flag) Great Expectations, no. Native Son, no. Animal farm, no. Okay I think he should redeem himself right now and tell me what he’s read or what he likes to read, if not, he’s out.
2. Table manners: Nothing puts me off more than a man without table manners. He chews with his mouth open, talks with food in his mouth (Eew, I don’t wanna see your bolus), shoves food down his throat, uses cutlery wrongly, and chews loudly (when he’s not eating carrots… er, can you chew a little louder they cannot quite hear you in Bolivia!). ’Nuff said. Bye-bye.
3. Sense of humor: I like to laugh. So if I’m with a man who can’t laugh at himself and the whole world… well, I’d say goodbye. I don’t think people should take life so seriously. We are here but for a few years. No matter how responsible you are, sometimes laughter is the only way to deal with issues. I generally find men who are humorless incessantly boring.
4. Bathroom habits: All women hate men leaving the toilet seat up and every well brought up man was taught by his Mama to put the seat down. I’d tolerate the occasional forgetfulness but constantly is a no-no. Leaving ‘skid marks’ in the bowl? Once is enough, forget it. Oh, whilst we are in the bathroom, let me add, I don’t see any reason why the toothpaste should be squeezed from the middle of the tube. There is no reason for a grown man to do that. A seven year old can get away with it but not a grown man.(I won’t leave for that alone though)
5. LAFA & Grammar: Of late I see on my feedjit that I have readers from a lot of countries so let me break LAFA down for the non-Ghanaians; it stands for Locally Acquired Foreign Accent. A number of people try to affect the accent of Americans and British, even though they have never lived there, so that they sound ‘cool’ or impressive. For me it is a super duper turn off. No matter how great you are in every other department, it is a put off for me. Period. It reeks of an identity crisis. Saying that, I really appreciate men with a mastery over the English language, as well as their own native tongue. It’s a turn off if a man can’t string a single sentence of English together without taking me back to my class four teacher-Mrs Coker.

PS. I am not an uptight bitch. (Hehehe.)

What I do

I do what I do

You do what you do

What I do does not affect what you do

What you do does not affect what I do

I like what I do

You like what you do

I judge you not for what you do

Why do you judge me for what I do?

Cyber love

I fell in love with your wit

You made me laugh

I fell in love with your voice

Deep and throaty

I fell in love with your mind

A beautiful maze

We had a connection

Or so I thought

Then I met you

Not what I want

You

I woke up this morning yearning for you

I started my day feeling blue

I thought it’d pass, I thought I’d be fine

Like a fool, I toed the line

Through the day it grew worse

It almost made me smile-averse

The day ended, how, I have no clue

I’m going to bed tonight yearning for you

The Good Wife’s Guide

Here’s an article I found while surfing the net. Some websites are disproving it saying it’s just a spoof by some people aimed at patting ourselves on the back and showing how far we have come. ‘The way we were’ v ‘The way we are’. Other people swear by it and say that it is a real magazine article. A woman in her 70’s says that even if it was not a real magazine article, that was the sentiment in those days so, hell, it might as well be true. Then, I chanced upon a group on Facebook called “Revitalization of traditional gender roles” -because it works. They think this article should be followed (with a few modifications). Read on and I will ask my questions after:

May 13, 1955 issue of Housekeeping Monthly

THE GOOD WIFE’S GUIDE:

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people.

3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a list and one of your duties is to provide it.

4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through that main area of the house just before your husband arrives.

5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc and then run a dust cloth over the tables.

6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide immense personal satisfaction.

7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, and vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

8. Be happy to see him.

9. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity to please him.

10. Listen to him. You have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first--remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

11. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his real need to be at home and relax.

12. Your goal: Try to make your home a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

13. Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

14. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

15. Arrange the pillows and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing, and pleasant voice.

16. Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

17. A good wife knows her place.

Assuming this article was real;

Did women in the 50’s have careers or were they full time homemakers?

Were women in the 50’s happier than women of today?

What was the role of the men in the 50’s?

Will the rate of divorce drastically reduce if women of today followed this guide?

Do men of today really wish this “creed” was followed?

Were men in the 50’s happier than men of today?