Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Tough Love

When my sister was in nursery school, she used to come home with scratches on her arms from where a bully in her class had scratched her. Once she complained to our Mama. Mama got mad.

She asked, “Is X in your class?”

Sis replied, “Yes”

“Is he bigger than you?


She asked her, “So why didn’t you scratch him back? Next time you go to school and X scratches you again, and you don’t scratch him back with all you’ve got, I will punish you!”

My sister was petrified. Next day rolls around. Lo and behold, X scratches her. She was scared. Scared of X and scared that if she didn’t scratch back Mama would spank her. She hesitated. Which did she fear more, Mama or X? No brainer.

With that she pounced on X scratched his face, his arms, his legs. He wasn’t stronger after all! He ran away crying and never scratched her again. Mama gave her a treat when she came back home!

I recently asked her about it and she said it was because she can’t fight all her children’s battles for them. It was a valuable lesson to teach them to fight back. Maybe one day I will see her point of view. Or maybe not.


  1. Great advice from your mama! I agree with her!

  2. *LOL* Unconventional but completely logical advice from your Mama! Aren't parents just wise?

  3. I hate to admit this, but my cousin was one of those bullies. He was a big kid for his age, actually he was the biggest kid in his class (nursery school). He bullied kids from TX to Accra and back to TX. I used to be so embarrassed whenever I had to pick him up from school because there was always a complaint from EVERYONE. Lord knows how many talks we had with that boy about not touching anyone and sharing toys with the other kids. This was when he was 3 in Accra. Things didn't really get better... when he went back to TX, he was BANNED from all field trips at one of his schools. He switched schools like 5 times between nursery and high school, sigh.

  4. Yeah have to learn to push back but that wouldn't be my first advice to a kid. But hey, it worked for your sis.

  5. haha...dat is definitely d spirit!

  6. @Anon, I see. I'd be scared to say that though.
    @Abena, maybe its all that experience, eh?
    @Anon, I'd be so sad if my kid was a bully. How do teach a child not to bully?
    @Myne, I know right.
    @Shels, true!

  7. lol! good lesson learnt in a hard way.

  8. haha...that's the spirit! woe unto the kid who bullies my future babies! it will be war i tell you!...hehe

  9. I agree with your Mama's way...I had a similar experience with a boy, when my Dad found out he was younger than me (only a few months!), he asked me why I was crying. Then sent me back out with a msg ringing in my ears. 'Abena, don't let me hear again that you were crying because somebody younger than you hit you. Or I will give you a reason to cry.' My mother was beyond pissed but it did the trick!

  10. Ei, I see this parenting tactic is gonna be popular from now on eh?:-)